“Couples that are meant-to-be are the ones that go through every problem and come out even stronger and closer than they were before.” But tackling problems isn’t a walk in the park. It requires patience, trust, and understanding, and it applies both ways. So we are here to help you in accomplishing this task with these essential suggestions on what to do to fix your relationships.
- Be Attentive.
Give the necessary attention to your better half whenever they need it. Nothing destroys relationships faster than ignorance. Share your stories for the day, everyday. You don’t always need to fix the problems. Sometimes, just listening and being understanding can make all the difference.
- Show Concern.
If you are concerned about your spouse, talk to them about it. Holding your feelings in doesn’t do either of you any good. Show that concern by calling them at work, even just for a few minutes, or going out for some quick snacks whenever both of you are free. Never let them feel alone, but always give them their space.
When things aren’t going that well, nothing makes you forget about the problems than a trip down memory lane. Take out the wedding album or go through the pictures of your trip to Bali or any other happy memory that you can dig up. Reliving happy memories if the best way to understanding the reasons you guys are together.
- De-escalate conflict.
Nothing good can come off of picking the same fight over and over again. Try and understand your spouse’s side of the argument, and if you don’t, ask them to explain. The healthy way to go about it is to sit and talk it through. And you can always go to couples therapy, but that is for when you can’t figure out what’s wrong.
- Don’t bring up past issues.
If your spouse did something 3 years ago when you were somewhere, don’t bring it up in another fight. It just escalates the whole charade which isn’t healthy. Understand that back then, both you and your spouse were different people and both of you have grown since then. All that growth is for nothing if you keep bringing up the past.
- Basic trust exercises.
Take multiple leaps of faith. You guys as a couple who’s willing to make it work need to make sure you trust each other. And there is no other way to determine that than to take the leap of faith. Trust them that they will get the vegetables or come through for that trip you always wanted or pick you up from work. Be it a big request, try to be forgiving if they fail to come through and understand their side of the story.
If you did something you know is wrong, admit it. There are no two ways about it. If you keep lying about it, you’re not only lying to them but also yourself because you’re telling yourself that it’s all for the best in the long term. It is not, and the longer you don’t take responsibility and hold yourself accountable for your actions, the worse it’s going to get.
- Get to the root of the problem.
Any problem, no matter how small, should be dealt with immediately, or it just piles up to your list of issues. Sit down with your spouse and discuss problems in a healthy way. See where the issue originates and try to eradicate the root cause of it.
- Be an adult and compromise.
You cannot solve every problem and cannot have things your way every time. Sometimes, for a healthy relationship to survive, you need to compromise on little things. See where your strengths lie and what can work for you, or help them understand why something doesn’t work for you. But if you try to get your way every time by any means, your better half is going to end up resenting you for it.
- Every little gesture matters.
Always remember that any kind of sweet gesture, no matter how minuscule, is always appreciated on some level. You don’t always have to go overboard to make something happen since it might overwhelm your spouse. It’s the time spent together that matters and not how grand you make it seem. Once in a while is enough.
Now that you know what to do, the best advice for you is ‘don’t be scared’. Problems can seem scary but there isn’t a problem in the world that can’t be solved. Always remember that.