Communication is a very vital part when dealing with a conflict and so, next time you are dealing with a problem with your partner keep these points in mind and the answer will become obvious to the above asked quite frequent question.
It is very tempting to bring out the past while arguing or having a verbal spat with your partner, however, this will only shadow the real issue and take it out of track. The whole discussion leads to just demeaning each other and the real issue is thrown out of context. Solving the current issue and misunderstandings is kept aside leading to another conflict.
To be brutally honest, we know we are just pretending to listen to the other person whereas we are just thinking about what to say next to demean our partner. Its human nature and its fine. It’s not just you to blame. Your partner is most probably doing the same and all this just boils down to one thing, ‘anger’. To have an effective communication and actually resolve the conflict it is important that you listen to your partner. The conversation must be a question-answer type of conversation so that both partners know they are listening and it doesn’t create room for ugly spats and does not lead to another conflict. Make sure you don’t interrupt or become defensive. Hear them out and answer their questions and expect the same.
Their point of view
During the fight try to see your partner’s point of view and make sure you don’t stay rigid to what you say or do. Think of it as if you we in their place then how would your action make you feel ? if you have even the slightest guilt and you know you might have made a mistake, apologise instantly so that at least one aspect of the fight is resolved. This initiative from your side will encourage your partner to do so too.
Empathy and forgiveness
When you have criticized your partner and they own up to it or show signs of defeat or guilt forgive them. If it you think of it as a minor issue that can be resolved by an apology and doesn’t bother you now like it did before it is better to forget it and forgive them instantly making sure you do not return to that topic again. Be willing to forgive and forget.
Instead of trying to win the argument or in the conversation it is necessary to focus and make compromises or deals where both partners are happy and know how to deal with the same problem if it arrives in future or just eradicate it.
Don’t Give Up
Taking breaks to think things through is a good idea but make sure you come back after doing that. Make sure you have the same amount of respect and willingness to be with your partner like you did before. If you love your partner make sure you never give up on them and always talk it out until you find the solution.